It occurs to me that the main time I feel deeply inadequate is when seeking employment. A close second in the "I suck" parade is how I feel looking for someone to share my heart with. These things aside, it is difficult to tell a faceless void how awesome I am without sounding like an asshole. Reaching deep in my 10th grade English vocabulary I pull out words such as "disseminate" and "pertinent" and so fourth. I am beginning to feel like "that" girl. The one who walks around with her fake Gucci bag, hoping the world only sees that giant gold "G". Actually I feel the same way shaving my legs for a date. "No really my legs are always this smooth and awesome." I wear more make up then I need to and act like it's the "natural" look. "Seriously my eyelashes are REALLY this bad ass." If I were a motivational speaker my workshops would be titled something like: "How to seem like you have it going on, when really you struggle to wear pants and find your wallet."
All self deprecating aside, I truly do believe I am worth while and think others should know it. Now I must walk that tight rope of confidence and arrogance. I actually feel, as a woman who doesn't like to shave her legs, that some times being a dude would vastly improve my odds in both the love and employment game. Guys can be slimy douche bags and they have it made (sometimes). I am not suggesting that I want to be a douche. Just simply saying that a fairly nice, hard working, slightly nuts, but loving gal should get a break in this world.
Honestly, douche bag and saint alike, everyone deserves a fighting chance at this seemingly crap thing called adulthood.
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